Episode X

Small Victories

One of the things I've recently learned as a parent is to celebrate the small victories in your child's life. Sure there are the major milestones: first step, learning to drive, graduating, etc. But there are other occasions that are just as exciting that deserve some celebration. This is especially important when your child had to struggle through the first few months of being alive, as mine did.

Back in December of 2010, only four plus months after she was born, my daughter had to have major surgery on her heart. This procedure was to close two holes in her heart, one in the upper chamber, and one in the lower chamber. For any child this is a HUGE deal, as they are struggling to survive, which means their focus is on breathing and not eating. And by not eating, they are loosing weight, which brings its own mess of problems.

At four months most children should have been in the mid to upper teens as far as weight, my daughter was hovering around nine pounds. We were having problems getting her to feed, which is what had driven us to the doctor's office in the first place. The doctor had also been monitoring her heart, as we knew when she was born that she had these holes in her heart. Their hope was that that holes would close themselves, but after four months she hadn't improved . It was therefore decided that she need to have surgery on her heart.

So there I was at work, wrapping up the day, when my wife calls me and tells me that "we need to go to Children's Medical Center in Washington DC, tonight." It caught me off-guard I must say, as I would have at least expected the doctor to give us a day or two to get our things together. But no, our daughter needed to get in quickly, so to patch the two holes.

Two weeks later, after some recovery time, and a successful operation, we all came home from the hospital. In the 18 months since then she has improved greatly. She's gained weight, though still lower than average, and has come along quite nicely -- seeing her today you'd never have expected that she was once in dire circumstances. The scar on her chest, however, is a constant reminder to us of what she once was. So we've come to celebrate the small victories that our daughter achieves.

Going from a helpless baby, to being able to roll onto her stomach, and then eventually crawl, then walk were very exciting moments for us, and her. Having her say her first word, which was "No" was joyful, yet laughable because she wanted to get into everything, and we kept telling her "No". Her first tooth meant she was getting prepared to enjoy a new array of foods -- including one that is a personal favorite, pizza. Learning characters' names on Little Einsteins, Handy Manny and Stargate SG-1 show that she's growing intellectually. She knows some numbers, letters, colors, shapes and other objects. It's all these small things that make us smile, and say, "she's getting so big."

Recently we started trying to potty train her. Though it's usually hit or miss, miss being the more correct course, there have been two instances in which we've had a "hit". Once was when my wife was home, and the other just happened the yesterday.  To some it may sound silly to celebrate such an occasion, but I look at that scar on her chest and it makes me realize how lucky we are to have her still be with us today. I cherish these small victories in her life; it's just another display of how determined she is to survive. And seeing her smile and laugh when we cheer for her warms my heart.

Sure, we'll celebrate the bigger milestones in her life with more bravado than some people, but it's because we love our daughter. We're glad she's around. We're glad she gets to experience life, and we get to watch her do so. We'll take pictures or even videos of the bigger events in her life, but the memories of the smaller victories in her life will always be in our hearts and minds. So laugh at me when I give her cheers for peeing in her potty, but it's well deserved, she's worked hard to get to that point and deserves our praise.

If I'm wrong ask your parents to tell of their fondest memories of you. I'm sure one of those moments won't be in a picture album, it'll be a moment that they hold near and dear to their heart. A small victory in your life that only a memory can preserve.

Three cheers for small victories!