Episode VII

Live from your neighborhood friendly

WAL-MART

To say I hate Wal-Mart, is an understatement. I loathe Wal-Mart. Where this intense feeling first came from, or when it first started I cannot say, but the fact is this: I will not set foot in that hell hole unless I absolutely have no other choice. 

For instance:

My mother was in town last month and she wanted to buy my wife and me a new set of dishware. Our old set was the first set we bought when we got married, and has since seen better days. We still have the entire set of mugs, but our dinner plates, salad plates and bowls have since been dwindling in number. I like the set, but I have to admit, that it's just too bulky and heavy for our everyday needs. So my mother wanted to buy us a new set that was maybe more "user friendly". 

So we went and looked for some other options, but we just couldn't make up our mind as to which design or which brand we wanted. There's so many options it really is hard to choose one pattern, because then you have to live with it for the next several years.So finding something to replace our "oriental" themed dinnerware is a daunting task -- one that I'm afraid will take longer to decide on than it did for Enron to collapse. My mother didn't have that kind of time to wait, so she threw in the towel and asked us what else we needed. To which my wife and me decided that we'd be better off with a new stroller. 

Fast forward a month later and my mom calls telling us that we have a pick-up at Wal-Mart (duh duh duh duuuh). Rather than spend extra money on shipping and handling it made more sense for us just to pick the new stroller up, so guess who got volunteered. I knew the day before when my mother called that I would have to face the dark, stank dungeon that is Wally World, but knowing and going are two different things.

Let me first tell you that our Wal-Mart is THE busiest store on the East Coast. I don't think that one minute goes by that that Wally World isn't jammed packed with all matter of hicks, pricks, and dicks -- all shapes and colors too. It's a nightmare, really.

So I get up this afternoon knowing that I have to run in there to pick-up this stroller. My daughter is in tow and I rush in there. The door greeter is supposed to be a welcoming site, or so they say. And I realize they can't discriminate, but can't they at least get an average looking person to smile at you and welcome you to Wal-Mart?! No, instead they get the crotchety old person or the person who looks like their face blew-up to greet you into the store that has everything.

Once you're past that obstacle, then you have to bob and weave your way through crowded isles and cluttered walkways to make it to wherever it is you need to go. I tell you, this Wal-Mart has gone bad. No sooner am I five feet past the ghastly greeter, then I'm assaulted by yellow smiley specials and an assortment of hoo-hums who are waiting for gawd knows what.  

Then I finally make it into the store itself and face a maze of people and dollar store rejects. I don't know what it is with people today, but, "Put On Some Clothes!" I don't want to see your sixty year old titties, or your make-Shamu-jealous thunder thighs and blotted butt. Have some decency when you go out in public. I don't care how rich or how poor you are, you can dress in clothes that fit. Remember those days of "Sunday Clothes"? Or in the Brady Bunch were they dressed in their best clothes to go to Sears? Those standards need to apply today.  

After my daughter suffered the forever scarring terrors that are the customers of this place. We finally reach our intended target, the .Com receiving. Unfortunately this particular building, or maybe it's all stores, the receiving and the photo center are now one entity. I hand the lady my e-mail saying I have an order to pick-up, and she immediately asks, "what is this? is this for photos?" It's a bomb, lady! C'mon, read the paper. "Oh, did you bring a cart?" Um, no, shouldn't you have people to assist with things like this? "No, sorry; can I bring my car around back to pick it up?" I ask. Apparently not, so she gets kinda fussy and mutters something about needing to keep a cart at the counter for her 'stuff'. Okie-dokie. She goes back, and brings out the stroller. Finally, now I can leave.

So I zip back to the front of the store, dodging an old man who's taking up both sides of the isle, a couple of cluttered isle displays and break for daylight. I shake my self off, as I feel just nasty from those agonizing minutes in the store, and head to my car. If I wasn't feeling dirty from the hot and sticky day that was today's weather, then I was now. My daughter was even ready for a bath tonight, that's how bad that store makes me feel.

Just send me to Target next time and I'll be fine . . . 

Episode VI

SERIES

As I was writing down notes for my other blog my initial thoughts were about series: series of books, a TV series, and movie series. I noticed that thoughts were starting to focus on this topic rather than the original subject. And since "series" is a general topic, I thought I'd post it here for your enjoyment.

So what could I possibly talk about on such a broad topic? And it's this, I have a problem with watching or reading any series that is mid-way through it's story arc. For instance: my best friend Burger told me for years to watch House M.D., saying it was one of the best shows out there. I had watched an episode here or there and was never really impressed. But then I caught an episode somewhere in Season 5 or 6 and got hooked. But instead of waiting for the next episode, I went to the library and rented Season 1, then 2, and so on. I needed to know how the storyline and played out before hand. 

Did I really need to do this? No. I could have waited and then eventually watched some of the other episodes. But I can't. I become, well, obsessed, with making sure I've seen it all. Or read it all when it pertains to books. Fringe is another good example. I caught an episode in Season 2 or 3 and got roped in, and then had to watch every episode up to that point. Stargate SG-1 and Star Trek: The Next Generation have also fallen into this dreaded problem.

After SG-1 came out I started buying up the dvds, and at some point I got my wife hooked on watching it. Now mind you there are ten seasons to this show, with twenty plus episodes per season. So when I introduced it to here we started from Season 1, but at some point we stopped. Months or so later she wanted to pick-up where we left off, and I nearly flipped! "What?! Watch something part way through a series?! Are you serious?! Yes I know we only just began watching it a few months ago, but that was such a long time ago. We need to go back and watch it from the beginning!" Was basically what I said. But she wasn't gonna sit there again and watch it all over, so we watched a few more seasons, and stopped again. This time almost a year had passed since we'd seen an episodes. And yet again, she wanted to pick-up from where we left off. At some in the past five years since we've been married we actually finished the series. It bothered me each and every time when she wanted to pick-up from a mid-point, but I don't think we'd have ever finished watching the series if we'd have done it my way.

And this obsession of mine even goes to movie series like Star Trek and Star Wars. And each of those has it's own can of worms too. Star Trek, which spans two different casts (well, now three), has a linked movie, Star Trek: Generations. While it's not critical to watch the first six Star Trek movies, Generations does involve both crews, which to me signifies that I need to know what happened in the previous films (even though I've watched them numerous times). And because the Enterprise is destroyed in that film, when Star Trek: First Contact comes out, there's a new ship. So I can't skip Star Trek: Generations, and just watch First Contact, no, I need to watch Generations to see what happened to the Enterprise.  Which then means watching the original six movies. So you see it's a vicious cycle.

Until recently though Star Wars fell into this cycle as well. Though we (the Star Wars fans) knew George Lucas had changed things when he created the prequels I never thought much of it. That is, until just a couple weeks ago when I was watching the prequels with my daughter.

As a fan, you've got to decide at some point which of the six Star Wars movies you're going to let your child(ren) watch. Now my daughter's not even two yet, so she really won't be cognizant of any of the story for a couple more years. So I decided it had been a while since I last watched the prequels so I sat down with my daughter over a week and watched the trilogy. And as any good parent would do I taught her the names of the main characters. So far she's picked up, "Padme."  Score! Once the prequels were done I had to start the original trilogy.

Normally I would have watched the originals and thought nothing of it. The cycle would have been complete and I would have moved on to the next movie or TV series. But thing's started catching my attention. With the prequels still rather fresh in my mind I started counting all the things that Lucas had fucked up. And I was only through the first hour or so A New Hope. I began wondering how I would have written the prequels, because Episode 4 doesn't really fit with the story arc that's presented in the prequels. So I didn't even bother watching The Empire Strikes Back or Return of the Jedi, I just couldn't bare the thought of sitting there and knit pick how the prequels weren't telling the same story that was already etched in stone by the originals. So thank you George Lucas for breaking my habit of watching things from the beginning . . . at least for Star Wars. But I have at least decided that the original trilogy will be watched first, as that is what is the purest story line.

However George, you failed to break me of my habit completely. I still feel the need to watch, or read things from the beginning.

Books are the same way as TV shows and movies. I need to read it from the beginning.

At one point I was at the book store on a weekly basis. My wife and I loved to browse the latest books and dvds, hoping to find something new. I had seen one series several times and saw that it's volumes were increasing every so often. While I never picked up one of the books to read what it was about I kept my eye on it. then one day the SyFy (then SciFi) Channel came out with a TV series of the same name as the books, The Dresden Files. I watched an episode or two and knew immediately that I had to read the books. I could have grabbed the latest release, but again, my mind doesn't work that way. And so I read books one through nine before finally catching up to book ten, Small Favor, which by then was out in paperback. there are now thirteen books in the series, with a fourteenth one on the way.

Though not as long, Harry Potter fell into this trap as well. I remember my mom was asking me to go see this film called Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Who the fuck was Harry Potter? At that time I wasn't watching the news, nor was I very interested in reading. Little did I know, at that point, that Pottermania was taking off. So we go to see this movie. And I'm there thinking, "what the hell is this all about?" And then BAM! I get hooked. By that point I believe there were four books out with one on the way. Then, while on a trip to Pittsburgh I ended up buying the first four books. And each time a new book was released I went back and read the entire series again. As much as I was anticipating the newest novel I still had to go back and read the old books first. I guess to make sure I was up to speed on what was happening.

This infatuation with series is pretty evident in my apartment too. You'll notice that a majority of MY books and dvds are sets. For some reason I tend to lean, or rather only purchase a book or DVD if it's in a series. Why? Perhaps it's because I don't want to see the story end. And when I do purchase a book or DVD that's not in a series, I secretly hope that one day there will be a sequel. Like Top Gun. That movie came out in the early '80s and is just now getting a sequel.

In closing, yes my obsession of watching or reading a series from beginning to end is weird. But it stems from my desire to not see it end, and by needing to know what happened from the very beginning. I need to know!

Episode V

BE OUR GUEST

Some of you may know that I work in a hotel. I am the Night Auditor, which means I work that graveyard shift, 11pm to 7am, five days a week. I can hear you groaning already, but yes, I work while everyone sleeps, which has it's high and lows. What I'd like to concentrate on for this episode is the lows.

One of the hardest parts about working third shift is the fact that I am the hotel. Meaning, I'm the front desk agent, I'm the maid, I'm the maintenance man, I'm the manager. Sure I have help some nights for the houseman, but otherwise it's just me. And one of the biggest problems I face is dealing with uncooperative people.

"The Shirt"

Take last night for example. The shift went by just fine. There were no problems, no issues with guests, nothing. I was just about finished with my shift when a guest comes down to the lobby in just his shorts. No shoes (that I could tell) and no shirt. Being that we're a business-focused hotel, there are certain unwritten rules that people need to abide by. One of those rules is: when in the Lobby of the hotel, you should be properly clothed. Of course there are exceptions to this rule, but in general, clothing is required. It is NOT optional!

So here's this guy standing by one of the wall of windows that we have in our lobby. It was early morning, so normally not many people are up at that hour, but it was different yesterday. He walks around into the main part of our lobby, and I said, "Excuse me sir, would you mind putting on a shirt?" It's not a question, it's a request. But apparently this guy took it as a question. To which he responds, "excuse me?" As if I had asked him some trivia question that he needed repeated.

I ask him again, "can you please put on a shirt." Which apparently was like I was asking him to set himself on fire. This simple statement set him off. He asked me again to repeat my request, so I did, "would you mind putting on a shirt." His response? "What if I do mind, what are you going to do about it?" Well, if you really want to get down to brass taxes I said, "I will call the police" (to which they would escort him to his room and then out the door). This was probably a little harsh, but I'm not going to have someone come into "my" hotel and do whatever they want. It ain't happenin'!

So he ends up calling me an asshole. Why? Who knows. I guess he's not the kind of guy that responds well to being told what to do. But yet, there I was, some lonely hotel worker, telling this guy to do something (that really is not even worth getting upset over -- put on a shirt, it's not hard; head goes in the middle, arms go out the sleeves, and ta-da, you're dressed!). He also said something along the lines of, "you're telling me to put on a shirt, after 'all the money I spent here this weekend'?"Yes, Yes I am. You need to put on a shirt if you are to come to the Lobby, regardless of how much money you spend here. If the President stayed here and came down in only a Speedo, I'd tell him to take his ass back upstairs and put on a shirt and pants.

Just because you spend money here doesn't give you the right to do whatever you want. We are granting you the privilege of staying here. We have the right to turn business away (not that we would, but we could). And since you were permitted to stay here you are thereby REQUIRED to follow the rules we set forth. So if I ask you to do something, like put on a shirt, you do it! Do you see anyone else not wearing a shirt? No. So why do you think you're Mr. Special that can go around shirtless? The answer is, you're not special. Sorry. Now go upstairs and put on a shirt.

So he continues to argue with me, and I just keep telling him to "put on a shirt". Eventually he takes up all our hotel business cards and threatens to send emails to all the managers telling them what an asshole I am. And all because I asked him to Put - On - a - Shirt. Oh - My - Gawd! Before he leaves for the morning he says, "you're going down." Right. Sure. Whatever! Do you honestly think they're going to fire me, just because YOU said so? I think not.

So that was yesterday. What a wonderful way to end a shift.

I hope I ruined your day sir, whoever you are, because you ruined mine. Asshole.

"Drinks All Around"

Another issue that continually comes up, especially during wedding season is alcohol. Maryland Law states that alcohol can only be consumed in public areas if it is purchased at that place of business. In other words, if we sell it to you, you can drink it practically anywhere in the hotel. You may bring in your own booze, but it must be consumed in your room. You may NOT bring it into our public areas and drink it. If you do, and the cops happen to come by and see it, we could loose our liquor license. 

I think that rule is pretty simple. But yet people insist on ignoring it. Are they warned? Yes. There are signs up in the Bar and Lobby, and the wedding groups are informed ahead of time (whether the info actually makes it to everyone is a different story). It's like, you wouldn't walk into a restaurant, like Ruby Tuesdays, and bring in your own beer or martini. No. You'd buy it at the bar and be content. So what makes you think you can get away with it in a hotel?

For instance. A week or two ago, there was a wedding group here, they had reserved the bar for an after party, and the bartender had already done Last Call. So this one guy comes down with a bag full of beer. It obviously wasn't ours, so I confronted him.

"Excuse me sir, you cannot have that down here, you'll need to take it upstairs."

"Well, we're part of the wedding group, so, I say it's okay.""

"I'm sorry sir, but Maryland laws prevents you from having it down here."

"Well, your bar is closed, so I think it's okay."

"Sir, please don't argue with me."

"I'm not arguing with you."

"Then take it upstairs." 

And he does. But it should have never have gotten to that point. When I tell you the first time, you smile, nod and DO IT. Don't think you can sit there and banter with me. I have the final say, not you.

This happens quite frequently. And it's because people just don't care. They think because they pay us a few dollars (not even full price, most the time these groups are getting a huge deduction in rate) that they can run the hotel. And that isn't how it works. Just do as I say and we'll get along just fine.

In closing, you're a GUEST, not the owner. No matter how much money you spend with Hilton, Marriott, or InterContinental hotels you'll never have the right to do whatever you want. There are rules. There is such a thing as etiquette. And all we ask is that you adhere to those things. It's not too much to ask, is it?

Episode IV

FRIENDS

So I may catch a lot a flack for this episode due to it's nature, but I don't care. It's a been on my mind for some time and I think it's time to address it.

If you don't have someone you can call a friend, then either you've been living under a rock all your life, or you are socially inept. I believe I have a decent group of people I call "friend", but sometimes I wonder what that title actually means. In other words, what are the expectations when you put the "friend" tag on someone?

According to Dictionary.com these are the definitions of the word "friend":

noun

1.a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

2.a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.

3.a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?

4.a member of the same nation, party, etc.

5.( initial capital letter ) a member of the Religious Society of Friends; a Quaker.

verb (used with object)

7.Rare . to befriend.

8.to add (a person) to one's list of contacts on a social-networking Web site: I just friended a couple of guys in my class.

Idiom

9.make friends with, to enter into friendly relations with; become a friend to.

With today's technology, defining someone as a "friend" is more in line with definition #8. But to me this definition is more in line with the word acquaintance. You know each-other, but the likelihood that you'll hang out anytime soon is remote. The definition that I want to discuss is #1: "a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard."

If I listed off the people that I considered friend, I'm sure many of them would say, "yes, Salow is a friend". But what I think they mean is, "Salow's a good guy, and he's pleasant to be around." There's no emotional attachment, nor is their any real regard for who I am. They don't mind me being around, but they wouldn't go out of their way to do anything for me. So their definition of "friend" is more in line with #3. However, for me, labeling someone a "friend" is more emotional. And I just don't see that same feeling from most people.

Perhaps it's because of technology that the "friend" label is so loosely flung around, but I remember the days when you had a true core of friends, and maybe one or two "best friends". The earliest "best friend" I can remember having was back in elementary school. We hung out from time to time, and had a love for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. There was another friend we hung out with, but when it came down to it, I believe the two of us were truly friends.  We had each others' backs. Unfortunately when I moved away we eventually lost contact with each other, and that friendship tag was lost. It wasn't until I finally got on Facebook that I reconnected with him. So are we friends? Maybe, we don't talk on FB, but I'd label him as a friend (definition #3).

My next "best friend" didn't come until late in high school. We met by chance, as his roommate was friends with my roommate and so via a friendship circle we became friends. Which blossomed into best friends when we realized we had many common interests. But as time has passed, though I'm sure we still label each other "best friends", the feelings behind being best friends has lessened. Why? We went to different colleges, (I dated and then married his ex-girlfriend), and careers took us in different directions. Though we still meet-up from time to time, it's nowhere near what our status was during high school.

It's these reasons that I believe determine one's friendship with another person. I'm married, have a young daughter, and work third shift Thursday through Monday.  So I have my obstacles in front of me that hamper any relationships I have with friends.

Being married, is a major factor, because now your time needs to be divided between your significant other and your friends (and her friends). You love being with your wife/husband, but you don't want to relinquish the friendships you once had. Those late nights out with friends now requires you to check-in or you'll have hell to pay when you return home. Those random trips up to see someone, now requires you to ask permission to leave. And what hurts your friendship even more is when your friends are single. They don't have the limitations like you do, so now they go out with their other single friends, and you (the married one) feels left out.

Then add in a child, and then watch your free-time dwindle. So now you're balancing schedules and begging for a chance to get away, when life doesn't interfere. You're responsibilities are not just to your wife/husband, but now you have a little one to tend to. They've got to be watched, like a hawk, every minute, for fear they may get into something they shouldn't. You need to spend time with them, so they get attached to you, because there's nothing more precious then a child's love. When you come home from a long day, their little eyes light-up with glee and they get excited to see you, and then they greet you with a hug and a kiss. It's amazing. But it changes the relationships you have with your friends, because family is now more important than friends.

Though they don't resent you for having a family, it complicates your friendship. They understand that life happens and things change. They say "we'll be here when you need us," but what that really means is, "call us when you've got the time." It's like the "don't call us, we'll call you" saying, but in reverse. Or at least, that's the way it seems. Your friends will be there, but knowing that you're life is (drastically) different they'll let you make contact with them.

So what I'm bitching at here is the expectations of the term "friend", regardless of life. The definitions listed above only scrape the surface on what I feel the word "friend" means. Am I confusing it with "best friend"? Probably. But I feel like I'm more emotionally involved with those I deem "friend", and I wonder why it's not reciprocated. I expect more from a friendship then what others are willing to give.  They have their own lives. They live their days without always wondering "what's Salow doing today?". However, in my mind, I'm always curious what others are doing. And if there's ever a chance for me to do something with a friend, I want to take advantage of it. But yet, the act is rarely returned.

Yes, I realize that friends have other friends. Yes, I know they have every right to do their own things. But would it hurt to at least inquire how I'm doing? Yeah, I need to make an effort to do the same. But c'mon, we're friends, right? Reach out to me too. Just because my life has changed, doesn't mean I have forgotten that you're my friend. I still want to hang out with you. It's just my time is limited. I'll let you know when I'm available, but every so often it would be nice if you'd contact me and at least see if I'm available.

They say "you get an A for Effort." And I feel I've earned at least a B, but if I were to grade some "friends" of mine, I'd give 'em a D. For "doesn't try hard enough."

Yes I'm bitching.  And I'm sure you'll look at me differently now, but how many of you would be truly willing to sit down with someone and discuss your friends status? Consider this our discussion and respond. I'd be happy to lay it all out there for you.

Episode III

A POSSESSED TOY and LITTLE EINSTEINS

If you didn't already know, I have a daughter. As of this post she is 21 month old and has an amazing life story already (I'll save that story for another time). Of all the things in the world she has two things: 1) a possessed toy, and 2) a love for Disney's Little Einsteins.

The possessed toy has got both my wife and me baffled. My wife purchased it at Neverland Games in Waynesboro, PA, thinking that this simple puzzle would be fun for our daughter. It's kind of a cool puzzle, for a child under age two, as it has animals and these animals make a noise when the puzzle piece goes in the slot. Unfortunately it's not a sophisticated puzzle, nothing like a internal computer, no, it has these magnet looking things on the bottom of the puzzle piece, and there's a corresponding magnet on the board. So when the "magnet" passes over any magnet on the board, it makes the sound of the animal on the board. In other words, if I had the cat puzzle piece, I could put it in the dog spot on the board, and the board would bark at me. Or if the cat passed over the bird, it would squawk. But that's not the weird thing.

The weirdness comes when the board is just sitting still. Even when my daughter's not playing with the puzzle, it's just sitting in, or on, her toy chest, all of a sudden a random animal will sound off. And it's not like anything is shifting the board that would make a puzzle piece move. This puzzle will neigh, or meow, or whatever, without a puzzle piece even on the board. We don't even have to be in the room for this to happen either. My wife said she's heard it sound off while she's getting ready for bed.

There's been no puzzle pieces randomly flying off the board, so at least we know it's not a poltergeist or some angry spirit, but it's just weird. Possessed or cheaply made, it's still a mystery to us.

-- -- -- --

If you haven't seen Little Einsteins, then you're probably not a parent or pay attention to the Disney Channel. This cartoon is about four youths who fly around the world in a ship and do things (nothing troublesome of course -- although one episode made me wonder), and it's all set to music and art.

The crew includes Leo, a redheaded boy of 5, who loves to conduct. Annie, Leo's sister, a blonde girl of 4, who loves to sing. June, the Asian girl, also age 5, who loves to dance. Quincy, an African-American boy of 5, who can play any instrument. And finally Rocket, the "can do practically anything" ship they fly around in.

At the beginning of each episode they announce the title of the episode, and then present "the art of the day" and the "music of the day". This is probably THE BEST part of the entire show. They use art from artists like Gogan and Michelangelo, and music from musicians like Chopan and Bach.  The art is cleverly inserted to the episode at one point, like in the episode A Christmas Wish they used "A Starry Night" as the background to a scene involving Annie climbing Mount Everest. The music however, is, in my opinion, butchered by Annie, who attempts to put words to it. And each episode tries to feature one of the kids as "the lead", even though Leo is the designated leader (as mentioned in one of the early episodes).

How my daughter came to like this show I will only venture to guess, but it wasn't her first favorite. It used to be Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. But when Disney came out with Little Einsteins, she got hooked. Perhaps it's because the characters are kids, rather than animals, or maybe it's because they don't "dumb down" the educational portion of the show. Shows like Mickey Mouse and Jake and the Neverland Pirates (also on Disney) seem to play around with concepts like sharing or helping each other. Whereas Little Einsteins is pushing historical art and music on children, who's minds are like sponges at this age.

I honestly believe that they helped increase my daughter's vocabulary. She asks for them by name, "Einsteins" (though it comes out more like Ein'tein). Calls them by name, Leo, June, Annie, and Rocket (Rocket only recently, and Quincy she still has problems with). And she even quotes a phrase from the title song, 'We Need You!' It's great!

But yet sometimes her obsession -- yes, obsession. even at this age she has grasped the concept of obsession -- get's annoying. While cute that she can ask for the show by name, she asks for it All The Time! It's like anytime my wife and I want to sit down and watch something for us, here comes our daughter asking for the Einsteins. And you can't just tell her No -- we used that word up when she first started talking (and it's one of her favorite words to use, as well) -- we have to be creative now, like, "No honey, they went night-night". Does she understand this? Probably not, but we keep trying.

I know we shouldn't let her watch it as much as she does (which is probably why she is so obsessed with it), but there are times when either of us just need 30 minutes to ourselves, and this show keeps her occupied.  Need to do some dishes? Or perhaps get on the computer? Better put on Little Einsteins or you'll never get anything done. Not that we couldn't try other things. We have. She likes to color. And that entertains her for a short while. But nothing, as of yet, has worked better than a string of episodes from this show.

It's a good show by-and-large, I've got to give Disney major credit on this one. So, Disney, if you ever read this, thanks for making Little Einsteins such a great show. I just hope that when we take our daughter to Disney World for the first time, that she gets to meet the crew, or you'll have a very upset little girl.

Changes

Que the cheesy music:

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Don't want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can't trace time

Hard to believe but with an encouraging word, I will be splitting my blog into two sections. 

The RPG side is now it's on entity, check it out: Rho Pi Gamma: Die Harder. This new portion will go into more detail about gaming, podcasts, and everything else rpg related. It's under construction for the moment, but I promise to have posts up soon!

For those of you who still wish to know about the other things happening, then the episodes will continue on.

-- -- -- --

You know, there's a book called Changes, it's by Jim Butcher. It's book 12 in a series called The Dresden Files. The story revolves around the only wizard detective in Chicago. So it's a detective novel, with elements of the supernatural and fantastical. You've got everything from vampires and werewolves to faeries and fallen angels. It's a great series if you're looking for something to read.

Episode II

One of the most important things to all of us is sleep.  While some of us get too much, others get too little. And then there's that unfortunate night where you get no sleep at all. That was me last night.

Usually I'm the kind of person that likes the room a bit cold, it makes being under those warm blankets a bit more comfortable. But lately I've noticed that I no longer want to be cold. I curl up under every piece of blanket I can wrestle away from my wife. Now whether this is just a change in my sleeping style or due to this weird virus I'm carrying around, I do not know. But my guess would be to blame the virus.

The virus has also increased my propensity to talk in my sleep. Yes, I talk in my sleep, and it annoys the hell out of my wife. Apparently I've done this for quit some time, but only a few people have ever said anything to me. Is it due to a deep state of sleep? Or it is more like a waking dream? "A waking dream?" you ask. I think it's that state of dreaming where it's almost real. Like you were actually living in that moment. You're not quit asleep, but you're not fully asleep either. I guess it's hard to explain.  But this talking in my sleep happens enough that no matter how I lay in bed, I start gabbing away. Except now, this virus is making it worse.

This of course disturbs my wife, who then wakes me, and tells me to stop talking. Like I have a choice! Unfortunately I don't have an ON and OFF button for this condition. Although I do have these nasal strips I can wear at night, but I haven't lately, so perhaps I should try them again. But I wonder if they'll help at all, because lately, I've been overly tired, to the point of exhaustion. And I don't even think nasal strips will help then. If you have any suggestions it would be most appreciated.

Oh and let me tell you, whatever this virus is, was making it hard for me to breathe, which then made it hard to sleep. Which is probably why I was in this waking dream.  But what else is weird, is that before I was even in bed, I was falling asleep on the couch. My wife had to wake me so that i could move to the bed. So here I was thinking I was tired, but then when it finally came down to the actual sleeping part, I couldn't do it. Every hour or two hours I'd be woken up or wake up, see the clock, and think "damn this sucks." At one point I must have been talking in my sleep so much that I even offered to move out to the couch.  But my wife insisted I stay in bed. By that point I was awake, which sucks, because tonight I have to go into work. (I work the graveyard shift, in case any of you were wondering). And I doubt I will get any more rest between now and then.

-- -- -- --

So while I was laying there awake, my mind drifted to the scenario that I offered up last episode for AnimeUSA. So here are my thoughts, from what I can remember:

1) The circus is lead by a dwarf, or a little person (depends on the setting). He's got a Scottish accent, a shocked red beard, and a balding head, on top of which is small tuft of hair. He wears a tall top hat, and a tattered ringmaster's outfit. It is black with red and gold trimmings, and spotted with aged stains and patches from tears long ago. But it wears on him well. Even his hands are covered in a black finger-less glove. His name is cliche, O'Reilly, but while he is the face of the circus, he is not it's true leader.

2) The player characters (PCs) for this scenario will be pregenerated. I will use a standard stat block, and make this a low powered game. Last year I ran a Star Wars Saga game that had the players at 10th level, which went well, but was perhaps too challenging for a convention game. So this year I'm thinking 4th or 5th level, which should give the players just enough power to make it through this scenario. But it'll need to be play tested before the November convention.

3) I need to challenge myself to make this game more free form. Give the players choices of what to do, but not force them to go in only one direction - as I am prone to do. I want to have "objectives", that while not crucial to complete all of them, there would be rewards granted later on for their completion. There was a game of Dresden Files that I was in, where the game had a final objective, but the players dictated where they went and what they did. There were Acts in the game, and eventually the plot moved forward with some kind of response from the GM. So before C could happen, someone had to at least do part A & B.

4) This is going to be a horror/thriller scenario. Descriptions will be crucial at describing the scenes and actions. If someone gets hurt, describe the attack, and how it nearly takes of the person's arm. If there's magic, describe how an acid attack eats away at both the flesh and clothes. Describing the smell of fear, and make the characters fight off fear effects. Most players think of their characters as fearless, but when they are just "common folk" they need to test their wits. I think too many heroes these days go info a fight and are immune to the fear of death, but I don't want that.

I believe I've got the bones to a good game. Just need to take all these concepts and put them down onto paper. Map out what I want to do, and go from there.

-- -- -- --

REMINDER: This blog is called Live from the Peanut Gallery for a reason, I was hoping my readers would actually comment on what was written. And it can be anything. One person told me in FB that I should narrow my blog to a certain subject, rather than be all willy-nilly (not his words). Do you agree? I need feedback, please.

It reminds me of Byron's podcast, Rho Pi Gamma, he asks for comments at the end of every show, and only myself and maybe one or two others will ever say anything. I find it hard to believe that after listening to a podcast, no one else has anything to say.  Even if it's just a simple word, like, "Awesome!" or "Cool show!" At least that's feedback. He even said he wouldn't mind negative feedback, "this show sucks," or "it's not long enough!" (one of my favorites).

All I ask is for some sort of comment. Thanks.

Episode I

Shout Out: Thank you to everyone who made an attempt to read my first blog entry. Thanks for the ego boost, it is much needed.  While I'll try not to let it go to my head, I appreciate the gesture you made to at least click the link in FB to get here.  

Before I get started let me start off with a tangent. If you're wondering why I'm doing another blog entry so soon you obviously didn't read the first one well enough.  My mind is a clusterfuck of thoughts, and I need an outlet. My Peanut Gallery of a mind thrives on being heard, and I know, at least nowadays, most people don't have the time to hear someone else brain dump.  So, here we go . . .

"Now," as Casey Kasem would say, "on with the Countdown."

Today I'm going to talk about gaming, for the most part. I'm not talking about the popular Call of Duty or Halo franchises, or even World of Warcraft, I'm talking about the pre-videogame era of old-fashioned roleplaying games. PPD (paper, pencil, dice), when the only visual you had was either your imagination or a set of Legos, some GI Joes and a car mat.  

Shameless Plug Alert!: Let me first begin by saying I listen to gaming podcasts. Rho Pi Gamma (Rho Pi) is the first one, which is shamelessly hosted by my old friend from high school Byron.  And a new one called Role Playing Public Radio (RPPR). Both of which are great podcasts, and really feed into my love for rpgs.  It's like talk radio, but for geeks.  They do interviews, gaming news, and talk all about the wonderful world of gaming.  It's what I have a passion for and have no problem sitting back and listening to these internet jockeys plug away at a subject I can't get enough of.  

I think part of the reason why I listen to this stuff is because I don't get to game nearly as much as I did before getting married, and before becoming a father.  I love my wife and my daughter very much, but I would give anything to be able to play at least once a week.  Not that I don't want to spend time with my family, I do (I need that intimate time with the wife, and I need that bonding time with my daughter), but playing in (or running) an rpg is a way for me to relieve stress and have a good time.For me, when I play, I try to immerse myself in the world I'm in. Whether it's D&D, Star Wars, Dresden Files, or any number of other games, I put my focus on the game.  Some people can multitask, like draw manga or surf the internet, but not me (of course you can't do this when you're running a game, but that's a different story).  I want, no, I need, to get away from all that and put my full attention on the game itself.

I'm not saying that my life is so hard, or so terrible, that I need to "disappear" for a while. No. I'm just saying that I enjoy stepping into another role. Being something I have a hard time being in real life. For instance: in most rpgs one of the objectives can be to go out and kill something(s) -- we call this a Hack-N-Slash game.  There may not be a really strong story line, but you know your objective: KILL or be killed. And in game you think nothing of it. These are not real creatures, or real people, they're just an imaginary thing created for you to stab with your sword, club with your mace, shoot with your arrow, or torch with your massive 10d6 (dice terminology, representing the number of dice you'd roll, 10, and d6 representing the type of dice you roll -- that's for you non-gaming types) fireball. But in real life, could I go out and kill someone? I honestly doubt that I could (although I'm sure there's a breaking point somewhere for everyone). So, in game, I get to thoughtlessly kill things and my conscious thinks nothing of it. Weird when you really think about it, but it's still an aspect of the game, and I like it.  Or I enjoy playing that overly charismatic type, who everyone loves to hate. In the real world I don't want to be hated, I want people to like me, and if they don't I wonder why. 

But it's all about having fun. Say what you will about rpgs. We are not devil worshipers, nor do we plan to take guns to school/work and kill everyone. (Although I once wrote a short story on one of these subjects some years ago.) No. We are just like everyone else, albeit, we are sometimes a strange bunch of cookies, but we are just normal people. You may choose to go out and play sports, or join some kind of club, well, roleplayers are in the same boat.  We're a club, a social gathering of like-minded people who enjoy a certain hobby. We're like a cross between actors and the book club. There's reading material (sourcebooks) that we need to look over to gain knowledge [of the game] and then that knowledge is applied to a role/part/character, which we created. Someone then narrates what's going on, and we act it out (though more verbal than physical). So the next time you see a group of people huddled around a table, with open books, a set of dice, and a piece of paper and pencil sitting on the table, don't sneer at us. Walk over to us, talk to us, and you'll see that (though our interests are different) we're no different than you.

Secondly, while the above section wasn't what I initially intended to write, I wanted you to know a little about my passion.

One of the biggest problems I have as a game master (GM -- someone who runs the roleplaying game, aka narrator) is coming up with ideas and then never finishing them. I'm sure writers have similar issues. You get a good idea about something, you start writing it down and then after the brain dump you have nothing left in the tank to finish what you started.

Last year I started a project of compiling information from several sourcebooks. Though it would probably be illegal to ever have it out for public distribution, due to copy write laws, but as a GM this is something I felt my players would appreciate. I was told that rather than putting it all together in one file, I should keep it separate, that way the players only need to get the files that pertain to their character.  But why would I want to do that?! Where's the fun in seeing all that hard work divided? I needs to be combined into one file -- and I'm certain that this file will be larger than the original sourcebook. However, there's one problem, I'm loosing steam. I'm loosing interest in completing it.  (And I want to get it done before the next version comes out. Although from what I hear that may still be a ways off.) Which sucks because I've come too far to just stop now. And I don't really want to start working on something else either, as I'm afraid I'll never get back to it. During my shift at work I try to work on it, a little here and there, which helps, but I still have four (out of 13) additional books I need to pull from. My ultimate goal for this project is to use it to run a twenty level campaign; which is the only thing keeping me going. 

As I sit here typing this though, I've come to realize that the portion I'm working on now, could be it's own sourcebook. While this current portion is pertinent to the players, if I took the same approach to the other sections I've written, then I could make several smaller sourcebooks. This would serve the original purpose, of getting the players ALL the information they need, while also giving me the break I need, but yet keep my mind focused on the ultimate goal.

Last, but not least: In November of 2011 I got to participate in my first Anime Convention (my first ever convention that wasn't centered around school or a career). AnimeUSA (AUSA) is primarily an Anime convention, but Byron, who's been involved in this convention for the past several years, has since added a Gaming portion to the con. So last year, I volunteered to GM during the convention. Last year's theme was Service Men & Women (firefighters, police, etc.), to which I was encouraged to cater my game towards. With some success I manage to pull it off, and have hopes of continuing that success this year.  

The theme for 2012 is Carnival Fantasia. What that actually means is beyond me, but from what I've been told this is basically a circus theme, but more whimsical. So the game I get to run should, but not is required, to have this theme within it. And after listening to Rho Pi and RPPR I think I may have a base idea on what to do. 

I want to do run a game in the horror/thriller genre, that takes place during a Carnival/Festival.  My knowledge base with games is few however, as I am must comfortable with d20 (Star Wars and D&D), but have participated in games that use the FATE system and d6 system. Both of which would be great in a horror/thriller game, but I'm beginning to think I need something more real. There's a game called Little Fears, which has you play as a child in a nightmare world, where all your fears come true. And what's one place that can be scary to a kid? A Carnival! Not to say that the other systems wouldn't work. I've ran a Star Wars zombie game for my group, that seemed to go okay. D&D would definitely fit the horror mold well enough:

D&D is set in a world of dramatic heroism, fire-breathing dragons, and fantastical creatures. But what about the common man, those that sit in the background, the farmers, the shepherd, the weaponsmith/armorsmith, and the innkeep? These are the people that support the heroes. Without them the heroes wouldn't be fed, wouldn't be armed, they wouldn't have safe harbor from the elements. They're the real heroes. And their the first ones that have to bare arms when nasty creatures threaten their livelihoods. This adventure is about them. 

-- Again, this doesn't have to be D&D --

The tiny town of Adamsville sits quietly along the banks of a peaceful river. The forest to the west provides protection, but has offered several dangers in the past. Though the town has lost a few brave souls every couple years, they have yet needed any 'heroes' to come to their aid. 

As a traveling circus comes to town so does a storm that will rattle the little town to its core. The dangers that emerge will once again challenge a bold few to face unknown creatures and test their very character.

Episode Zero

Greetings readers, and welcome to the first post of Live from the Peanut Gallery. This blog is intended to be random thoughts of yours truly, ranging from movies, to roleplaying games, to general life, to God-knows-what.  I will not sensor myself, so if you are reading this, and there's a post about you, be forever warned.

I think one of the first matters I need to discuss is the reason for this blog. 

A couple months ago I was writing in Facebook about something that happened at work.  It was something stupid I'm sure, but I felt compelled to let my frustration be known to the world-at-large.  So a couple days go by and eventually I get a post from my mom saying that I should consider starting a blog, to get my thoughts down on "paper". Was this out of concern, as you never know who will view your FB page?  Or was it because she saw that in the past I had lengthy posts about random things?  I'm going to presume it was both. 

So here I am, writing this initial post.  Now only to come up with a name.

Live from the Peanut Gallery.  Has an interesting title, don't you agree?!  One of the first things that comes to mind when I think about this title is how I like to make comments about things.  Are they always appropriate?  No. But the thought is there.  So why not let others share in my thoughts!  Also, as I'm sure many of you out there are in similar positions, there's just too much going on in one's head to keep straight, so this is the perfect outlet for those thoughts.  I know I can jump from one topic to another, and then several minutes later forget what my initial thought was.  So I'm hoping that this will be a place for those random thoughts to be put down.  I will attempt make attempts to keep different lines of thoughts separate, perhaps color coding it or something. Anyways!

So the back to the name.  "Live" just sounds cool, it's the here and now, as I type. Yes, I realize that you, the reader, can't read this as I type it, so it isn't 'live' for you, but that's beside the point.  Just calling this blog "Peanut Gallery" just didn't sound complete. Live gives it that feeling that this is real, it's not someone's thoughts from ages ago, no, this is today, or yesterday, maybe even tomorrow. But it's LIVE. It's in your face, and it's seeking attention.

As for the "Peanut Gallery" part. As far back as I can remember, especially during roleplaying game (RPG) sessions, when the "spotlight" was on someone else there was a tendency to goof off. Comments would be made, and soon enough the game would have to be stopped because the goofs would distract from the game. And in one, if not many instances, my friend Byron, would say something along the lines of, "if I wanted comments from the Peanut Gallery I would give them to you." To which we would snicker and then the game would go on.

This name also has meaning from my time in college, when a group of us would get together and watch WWE. It was an exciting time, and we each had our favorite wrestler (we could only have one though -- why? who knows as there were no rules, but yet the rule was known), so I chose the Undertaker! So every Monday and Thursday we would meet up in one of the lounges and watch wrestling. I'd say there was at least ten of us on a regular basis cheering and booing as the shows progressed.  One guy in-particular, Adam (who's favorite was Chris Benoit), would continuously guess how the match would end.  Especially when it was close to a Pay-Per-View, because the outcome of that match would then (most of the time) determine who won at the PPV.  So his comments, plus the cheering and jeering of myself and my fellow fans, also gives roots to the name of this blog.

Some additional support to the name also comes from the name itself "Peanut Gallery".  Those people who just always have something to say, whether it's a joke, a comment, or some sarcastic remark, they just can't keep their month closed.  But while I may not always speak my mind, I feel more inclined to put it down here. Sometimes I don't always know how to respond, so I just smile and nod. But then I'll look back on that moment in the future and think to myself, 'ya know, ya should've said this," or "ya should have said it this way".  So this is blog here, we become the peanut gallery of my life. 

I will also use this space to talk about what's going on. Whether it's politics, sports, movies, gaming, whatever, I want this space to cover a broad range of topics.  And for those of you who want a PG rated read, you won't get it here. Sex, is a part of my life, and I will talk about it.  Swearing is also in my vocabulary. I need to watch what I say around my 21 month old daughter, but not here.

And by now I'm sure you're thinking, "boy this guy sure rambles on." To which I say, "No, I'm just overly thorough." There are times when I just don't know when to stop. if I have to explain something, I beat it like a dead horse. I just want to make sure I'm heard and understood. Perhaps I should have considered a different title for this blog: Ramblings of a Mad Man.